From birth, children are active learners who are curious and wanting to have a go at everything they see you do. You probably saw your child's determination when they want to achieve something and yes, they will not be shy to communicate what they need. You would be surprised how how quickly children become capable of being independent in doing a lot of task that us, parents, do not think they are ready for. We often hold our children back by not allowing them opportunities to have a go at small tasks in our daily lives, and we tend to do a lot of things for them. We think we do this for all the good reasons, but in reality we are depriving our children of learning key skills that they need to first become school ready and successful; and happy learners to fully capable and independent grown ups. Simple life skills such as dressing and undressing, eating independently, thinking of solutions to arising problems may seem trivial to us, as we take them for granted, but they are vital skills that we need in life. Children need a solid foundation in key areas of their development - which are Personal, Social and Emotional Development, Physical Development and Communication and Language Development. Let's change and provide our children with opportunities to discover what they can do independently! Here are a few ideas on where to start: Prepare yourself and your home for what's to come! To become independent and develop life skills, your child will need to have hands-on experiences and go at various tasks. This means that they will: try, fail, try again, get frustrated, get upset, get happy, get messy, get you messy, get the house messy, get everything messy... And that's ok! Just remember to breathe. Create a routine Children thrive knowing when certain things will happen, and like the predictability and sequencing of daily tasks and events. The reassurance of knowing what will happen, and when during the day, is comforting for them and it encourages their independence when they follow familiar patterns in completing tasks. For example, when washing hands they need to follow a step by step routine that is always the same: open the tap, wet your hands, dispense soap, rub hands together, rinse and dry. Children thrive on small daily rituals and enjoy getting involved. Offer Choices Making decisions and choices is a huge part of becoming independent, but it does not mean that your child has a free rein. They are still too small to be aware of what is good for them and what is not, what is safe and what is dangerous. You will need to offer the choices to your child within set boundaries and criteria. Get them to choose what fruit they will have in their porridge, or which shoes they would like to wear, or which toys they would like to play with first. Remember to limit the choices to two, maximum three options to make it easier for your child to make a choice. Avoid choices that are unlimited or that will be impossible for you to provide, i.e. 'What would you like to play with?' as the answer may surprise you and be impossible to provide, causing a lot of disappointment. When you limit choices to two, your child will find it easier to decide, and you should praise them for good decision making! Allow them to help in daily tasks Get your child involved in everything that you do under close supervision. Children especially enjoy helping out in the kitchen, and you can get them involved in washing vegetables and fruit, putting ingredients in bowls, stirring etc. Another task that they absolutely love is cleaning and setting the table for meals. Give your child a cloth and they will happily clean the entire home without getting bored. Such tasks provide excellent learning opportunities. Not only developing independence and learning how to do certain tasks, but also developing children communication skills, problem solving, knowledge of various mathematical concepts, understanding of how things work, etc. Give time and space to problem solve When your child is trying to master a task independently or learn how to do things, they need time to figure this out. Some task are complicated and involve a number of steps. You can offer hints and suggestions, but try to refrain from jumping in too soon to offer a helping hand. Provide opportunities for free play To become independent, your child also needs opportunities for solitary play during which they can focus on making their own discoveries. Resources such as loose parts play are ideal for creating the best opportunities for creative, independent play. Remember to supervise your child and risk assess activities and areas.
